English Jokes

English Jokes

A: Hey, man! Please call me a taxi.
B: Yes, sir. You are a taxi.

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A teenage girl had been talking on the phone for about half an hour, and then she hung up.

“Wow!,” said her father, “That was short. You usually talk for two hours. What happened?”

“Wrong number,” replied the girl.

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A teacher asked a student to write 55.
Student asked: How?
Teacher: Write 5 and beside it another 5!
The student wrote 5 and stopped.
teacher: What are you waiting for?
student: I don’t know which side to write the other 5!

ادامه نوشته

The Way of Study in University

طریقه درس خواندن در دانشگاه

 The Way of Study in University

 

 

 

 

 

شروع ترمStart of term

یک هفته بعد از شروع ترمOne week after start of term

دو هفته بعد از شروع ترم

Two weeks after start of term

ادامه نوشته

Driving In Iran

Driving In Iran

رانندگی در ایران

^{Chicago: One hand on wheel, one hand out of window.
شیکاگو: یک دست روی فرمان، یک دست بیرون پنجره}

^{New York: One hand on wheel, one hand on horn.
نیویورک: یک دست روی فرمان، یک دست روی بوق}

^{Boston: One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on accelerator.
بوستون: یک دست روی فرمان، روزنامه در دست دیگر، پا محکم بر روی پدال گاز}

^{Ohio: Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in terror.
اوهیو: هر دو دست بر روی فرمان، هر دو پا روی پدال ترمز، قرار گرفتن در تیر رس تروریست ها}

^{California: Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head turned to talk to someone in back seat.
کالیفورنیا: هر دو دست روی هوا، قیافه گرفتن، هر دو پا روی پدال گاز، صورت چرخیده و مشغول صحبت با کسی که روی صندلی عقب نشسته}

^{Welcome to Iran: One hand on horn, one hand greeting, one ear on cell phone, one ear listening to loud music, foot on accelerator, eyes on female pedestrians, and conversation with someone in the next car.}

^{به ایران خوش آمدید: یک دست روی بوق، با دست دیگر مشغول دست دادن، یک گوش به مو بایل، گوش دیگر مشغول شنیدن موزیک با صدای بلند، پا بر روی پدال گاز، چشمها به خانمهای کنار خیابان دوخته شده، صحبت با شخص دیگری که در ماشین بغل او در حرکت است}

Funny Jokes

Funny Jokes

Father: Why did you fail your mathematics test?
Son: On Monday, teacher said 3+5=8
Father: So?
Son: On Tuesday, she said 4+4=8 And on Wednesday, she said 6+2=8.
If she can’t make up her mind, how do I know the right answer?

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A mother and son were doing dishes while the father and daughter were
watching TV in the living room. Suddenly, there was a loud crash of
breaking plates,
then complete silence. The daughter turned to look at her father.

Daughter: It’s mummy!
Father: How do you know?
Daughter: She didn’t say anything.

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Girl: Do you love me?
Boy: Yes Dear
Girl: Would you die for me?
Boy: No, mine is undying love

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Man: How old is your father?
Boy: As old as me
Man: How can that be?
Boy: He became a father only when I was born

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Father: Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you
anything!
Son: That’s why I say she’s no good!

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Teacher: Ted, if your father has $10 and you ask him for $6, how much
would your father still have?
Ted: $10.
Teacher: You don’t know maths.
Ted: You don’t know my father!

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A boy came home from school with his exam results.
“What did u get?” asked his father.
“My marks are under water,” said the boy.
“What do u mean ‘under water’?”
“They are all below ‘C’ (sea) level”

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